Here I Go Again!

Well, it's exactly midnight - the start of Saturday, and I leave for Alaska on Monday! Holy buckets ~ I absolutely cannot believe the time is already here!

I've enjoyed my time home immensely. People keep asking me if I'm ready to go back, and I say, "No... Yes... I don't know..." I think that's a darned good representation of how I feel! But I do have to say that today I really started to feel excited!

I have a new camera - new for me - and I am really excited about using it. I intend to try to get some really good photos this year, and I will try to post them often. Heck, I've got TREES to photograph this time! The photo, here, is one of just a few that I've been able to find online. I hope to get some good shots that I can post so there are more pictures for other people to find. In the meantime, this will have to do, and at least this photo does show TREES!

I also resolve to post journal entries more often this year. Being so far away, it's easy to isolate myself just a bit too much, and sometimes I have a tendency to do that, anyway. So, as part of my efforts to stay more connected, I will write more to share with all of you.

I don't know how I'm going to get everything that I have left done, but I'm sure that with limited sleep and lots of effort, it will all come together.

Here is my itinerary, as I know it now: I fly from the twin cities to Anchorage Monday evening. Tuesday through Friday, I have training with my new district. On Saturday, the district will transport us to our villages. That's about all I know so far. Like last year, I'll be celebrating my birthday in my new village.

Well, I just wanted to give you a quick update. But, you will hear more from me soon!

Pam

Just a Quick Note...

Hi, everyone! I AM BACK!!!! And happier than you can imagine...

My place (that I'm renting) is awesome. Jay and I move the big stuff on Saturday.

Cell phone (715-520-0522) doesn't work at home, but I have a land line 715-259-7842. No internet at home yet, but that should change soon.

Picked up the kitties and brought them home with me on Monday. Gee, would they still remember me...? Lemme tell ya - NO WORRIES! They remember Mom just fine...

Gotta go, but wanted to send a quick post.

Pam

The Real Deal

Some of you know that this has been a really difficult year. Some of you haven't really been aware of it, so allow me a few minutes to tell you about it.

If you ask me what it's been like to live and work in the Alaskan Bush, I can really only half answer that question. On the positive side, this challenge has been exhilarating. I enjoy the people in the village, and I love the kids. Parts of my job are drudgery, but the majority of it is wonderful! So many times, my phone will ring with a student saying, "Pam, are you busy?" My answer is always, "Never too busy for you..." even when I am truly busy with an administrative part of my job. And they come to hang out, to talk, to explore, to get support, to get acceptance. I am proud to say that I do my best to give the kids here what they need. And, I've had the opportunity to do some really meaningful clinical work with kids and families, too.

There is something really affirming about being able to do without so much and still be happy. Sometimes, people think I must be bored here without shopping, restaurants, movie theaters - all of the things that we become so used to. But the truth of the matter is that I have been far from bored. And, I love that...!

People say that people come to work in the bush because they are "mercenaries, missionaries or misfits." How accurate that is! Well, I think that all of the misfits came to Kotlik! This has been the most political place to work with the most dysfunctional cache of people I've ever encountered! Not all of the people, but enough to make it so that I have spent a good part of the school year on hyper-alert, in self defense mode, in survival mode. I've felt a bit cheated as a result, because it's taken my focus away from the very reason I came here - to experience the adventure!

Last week, Sunday evening, I decided that I needed to change all that. So, I applied for five open counselor positions in Alaska. And today, I landed one - and resigned from here! I will still be in the bush, but I will start fresh and new next year in a different school, in a different village, in a different district. I can't wait! Because, I can't believe that the powers that be would ask me to negotiate this minefield twice! And I want to have the opportunity to truly live in this culture and experience all of the things I missed as a result of being in a really dysfunctional environment.

So - that's my good news! I will finally (hopefully) get the real deal I hoped for when I came to the Alaskan Bush! The small minority who have made life miserable for the larger majority did not succeed in pushing me out - on the contrary, I decided to change my situation for the better - and I held the trump card!

One more week of school! I will be packing and shipping my things to my new village, and then I will be back home for the summer as planned. And I can't wait...!

What's Next for Pam?

Time for an update...! Lots going on...

As you know from my last post, I was offered a contract for next year, and I signed it. However, I do have feelers out for jobs in other parts of Alaska as well as Wisconsin, so who knows...? At this point in time, though, I feel extremely fortunate to have job security anywhere - let alone in my field with decent money...!

You may be wondering why I have feelers out anywhere else, so let me answer that question: I will always have feelers out in Wisconsin. In order for me to break my contract with this district, though, I would have to land the "perfect" job. But, things will work out as they will, so I will look and see what happens. Regarding have feelers out in other parts of Alaska, there's one counselor job in particular that I'm looking at. The village is also remote and only accessible by plane, but it's 150 miles from Fairbanks as opposed to 800 miles from Anchorage. This school, where I am now, is also extremely political, and that has been more challenging than living in the bush has been, if you want to know the truth! So, as I am known to do, I will throw my hat in the ring and see what happens.

I am no longer making the drive from Anchorage along the Alaska Highway. My friend, Bryn, with whom I was going, is still doing the drive, but she would like to spend the time with her daughters, solo. I'm disappointed for me, but I'm happy that she will have such rich quality time with her family. So, I'll be flying back to Wisconsin or, more accurately, to the Twin Cities airport.

My last day of school is May 16th - yes, it's a Saturday. Someone, in their infinite wisdom, made that Saturday a staff workday - oh, joyful! I don't think I'm leaving right away, though. My principal here, Harold, is also a very good friend. Harold isn't coming back next year, and this means that he needs to pack and ship his belongings back to Oklahoma. This is a daunting job for anyone, but I think it would be even more so doing it after all the other staff was gone for the summer. Harold has to work extra days as an administrator, so during that time, I've offered to help him get himself packed and organized. The bottom line is that the latest I would be back is the end of May.

Then what, Pam - you ask...?

Well, I've got the housing thing all taken care of - so I can breathe a sigh of relief! I'll be living in Danbury, although it's actually closer to Webb Lake than the town of Danbury - about a mile from the intersection of 77 and H. I'm renting the second floor of a house. The kitchen and laundry room are downstairs, but I have complete access to them, and the owner of the house runs a restaurant so is often not home and seldom uses the kitchen. Here's the best part - once I unpack and set up my living space, I can leave everything the way it is if/when I return to Alaska for the school year in August! This means that I can have a place to stay if I decide to try to venture to the lower 48 for the holiday - and I have a place to store my stuff for the winter - and I already have my living arrangements for the next summer! SWEET!

So ~ that's what's up in my world! I have to tell you that I am counting down, and I can't wait to get back! I miss trees, Mexican food in a restaurant, driving with the music blasting, being able to get whatever I need easily at the store for a reasonable price ~ and YOU!!!

Eight weeks left.....

Drum Roll, Please...!

Yesterday, I received an offer to continue working in Kotlik for the following school year. I signed and returned the contract, indicating my acceptance. Celebrate for me... And this summer, when I'm back for three months, please celebrate with me...!

~~Pam

Just an Update - From January 28th

Hello to everyone! I know it's been a really long time since I've sent an update, and for that I apologize. So, if this message jumps around, please understand. But I wanted to send an update about things here, so I'm just going to write what comes to mind.

As of today, there are 108 days until school ends, including weekends. Seems like a long time, but this time is just going to fly! Wait until you hear my plans for right after school is out... I became good friends with a woman who teaches in another village, Nunam Iqua. Her name is Bryn, and she is in Alaska with her gem of a daughter, Lorna, who is nine years old. I wish Bryn and I were in the same village, but we do the best we can to stay in touch. Although we don't talk really often, we always connect right away. I would like to plan a visit to her in Nunam; it will depend on money. Anyway, Bryn wants to do a driving trip back, and she asked me if I'd like to join her and Lorna. Another of Bryn's daughters will also fly up and come back with us. We will leave from Anchorage and drive the Alcan Highway through Alaska and Canada, into Minnesota and Wisconsin. I don't know the details yet, except to say that we are planning this, and we plan to be back around the end of May. Does that sound like a blast, or what! We will camp along the way.

The word on the street is that new contracts will come out on February 1st, and we will have a month to decide whether or not we are going to sign and come back. I would say that, at this point, I plan to return here for another school year. I'll elaborate, but here's the bottom line. I like it here, I like my job, and financially this continues to be a good move.

There are two things that I would change about being here. Are there things I miss? Sure. But things I would change??? Only these - I would add trees - there are none here, and I miss them terribly - and the time difference. By the time I am settled for an evening and want to talk on the phone to someone back home, you are all either in bed, or close to it.

It's amazing to me how much less I miss some of the things I thought I would miss. I do fine without being able to jump in the car and go shopping. I do fine without restaurants. One interesting development has been in the area of cooking. I think of all of the times I'd come home from work, tired, and not feeling like cooking. So, I'd opt for a convenience choice - stopping at the store for something, stopping and picking up something carryout... Well, I could stop at the store for something, but a frozen pizza here is anywhere from $8 to $14. So, you think twice before doing something like that. What I've done instead is a lot more cooking. I've found that I still love cooking things that take some time and effort, but I've also gotten good at creating some nice meals at the end of a long day, so I'm eating decent, healthy stuff. I'm actually kind of proud of myself...

I thought the dark would be much harder to take than I've found it to be. We are gaining six and half minutes a day of daylight, so the days are getting longer quickly. But, the latest the sun rose was at about 11:30 with it setting at about 4:45. I think if the sun set earlier here, that would have been more difficult than the late sunrise. But, one of the things I've liked most about being here is twilight. Let me explain. In Wisconsin and Illinois, you have that pretty twilight period - where the sky is that beautiful shade of blue - for a bit of time at both sunrise and sunset. But, that doesn't last too long. Well, here, that beautiful blue sky lasts an hour on both ends of the day. So, I'll be looking out the window while I'm at work, and I get to watch the sky change! It's really pretty. I haven't seen the northern lights yet; my understanding is that if they are out it's at 2 or 3 in the morning.

And, yes, generally speaking, it's colder here. But, you've had just as much cold weather in the lower 48 as we've had here. My walk to school takes me less than five minutes, and one of the two stores in the village is five minutes away as well. So, when it's really really cold, I walk to school and then back home. If I want to walk to the further store - the one with the better produce - I'll still do it, but I dress for it. Because we're in and out of cars typically, in WI and IL, we don't dress the same way there that you dress here to walk somewhere. So, when I do walk somewhere, I'm seldom cold, once I get all the gear on that I will wear.

My job - boy, I wear a lot of hats! I do scheduling, I supervise all testing (achievement, Terra Nova, etc.), I see kids individually on a scheduled basis, I see kids individually on an as-needed basis, I see kids in groups, I work with the juniors and seniors on graduation plans, college applications, and scholarship applications, and I do crisis intervention. I see, in the larger picture, my job continuing as it is, of course, but I also see my role here - and this will be a short version of a very long description - as an agent of change. There was an interesting article in one of the papers recently that talked about how the success of kids in the bush villages - educationally speaking - is measured in terms of whether or not they leave their villages for post secondary education - and this usually means they wouldn't come back. The writer believes that there are other ways to measure success of education, and I agree with him. Many of the kids that do leave for post secondary education - and there aren't many - often don't enjoy success in their endeavors for a myriad of reasons. Well, then this means, in my mind, that the current "goal" of education isn't meeting the needs of most of the children in this community. How should things be different? Heck if I know. But that's where my interest lies in terms of the future of my job as counselor here.

The staff here isn't as close-knit as I would like them to be - for my personality, anyway. And I have a roommate, and that's been a challenge because Sue and I aren't very well suited to one another. But, there is one friend in particular, Robin, who I am very glad I know and who I believe will be a friend even after I leave Alaska.

I've done a lot of writing here, and I'm beginning to rework some things to include in my journal. My writing hasn't been for the purpose of sharing in a journal, and that's why I want to rework it, but I am aiming for writing for publication, at some point.

Now that I've finally written this email, I'll make a point of writing short updates more often. In the meantime, please write when the spirit moves you - I love emails from home - and you can always call - 907-899-4099.

Pam

Pam's Adventure on the Tundra

Hi, all. Some comic relief. This little adventure happened before the first snow, which, by the way, was October 1^st!

Pam's Adventure on the Tundra

By Pam

Robin was going to take her third grade class on a field trip to go berry picking as a culminating activity for their plant unit in science. I asked if I could chaperon, so that I could experience berry picking. And, it was an experience…

It's kind of funny sometimes - doing something here in the bush - because in the lower 48, (this is what we, up here, call those states, down there… doesn’t it make me sound like I’m “in the know?”) the average person would look at the circumstances surrounding the activity and say, "No thanks. It's too cold (or, insert your word of choice in place of cold...) for me." But, here, it's incidental.

So, we take this 45 minute fishing boat ride to where we are going berry picking. I always have to clarify to people back in WI or IL when I saying fishing boat, because they picture a bass boat with all of the accouterments, and a fishing boat in the bush is a metal, flat bottomed boat with no seats. They are not comfortable to ride, and they are not warm. I am, however, dressed for this endeavor, and I am okay. It crosses my mind at this point how amazing it is to me that children here take so much in stride. Any other child I know of would be crying because of the discomfort, but it's useless to cry here, because there isn't anything else you can do but endure the only option that is available to you. Well, unless you don't want to go berry picking, or unless you fancy a night on the tundra... rather than ride the boat back.

Anyway.

We get there and have lunch. Now, this is after scaling quite the incline, which the kids, of course, do like Spider Dan (remember him?), but alas, Spider Dan and I are not related. But, I make it up to the tundra - and it stretches out far and wide.

Then we split into some groups and traverse the tundra. Have you ever gone berry picking? That's another story... This particular adventure concerns the tundra, not the berries.

If you have been on the tundra or seen pictures of the landscape in any detail, you will notice that the landscape differs from spot to spot. Well, unless someone tells you, we non-natives don't know variances in the landscape from anything else. So ~ I didn't know that there were spots to avoid. I did, however, learn this intimately…

The first time I fell on the tundra, I noticed the landscape was changing, but I had my knee-high rubber boots on, so I was good to go! Well, these lovely and stylish rubber boots are also highly functional! - Oh, yes, I would be just fine!...right? Well, these boots function beautifully in terms of keeping your feet dry - under most circumstances - but they get sucked into the wet marshy tundra that lurks beneath the pretty green areas. My foot felt like a nipple in a baby's mouth - and that baby was HUNGRY! No worries, that baby was no match for me! I managed to free my foot and plodded happily along - I had conquered the tundra!

So, the second time I saw the beautiful green area, a bit bigger than the last one, I knew what to expect. Right? Well, here is a lesson for you. If the pretty green area is bigger, then that means the baby is even HUNGRIER, and this baby really really WANTS that nipple! And the marsh goes deeper and wider. So. This time, my knee high boots don't quite live up to my expectations. Picture a bowl being pushed down into water, and then you have an idea of how wet my foot was. So, I will just pull my foot out and go on my merry way – just like I did before – right? Sounds great in theory, doesn’t it?

Let me elaborate just a bit about the first time I got stuck - I had to kneel down on one knee to get enough leverage to pull my foot out. But, I decided I could live with a wet knee… Well, the second time I got stuck, my foot wasn't coming out by my steam. I simply could not get enough leverage. And just imagine my delight at the small group assembled around me as they rushed to my aid. Here's the problem. When someone is in that situation, there is simply no way to assist them. Well, maybe with a combination of Herculean strength and a young, flexible and thin stuck person, assistance could be offered and accepted, but it ain't gonna happen, my friend. I’m going to have to figure something else out…

Well, with my one leg up to my thigh in muck, I first managed to get on my other knee, the move that had me successfully freed from the marsh the first time. Well, I had absolutely no luck there, but, truth to tell, I was racking my brains trying to figure out a way to avoid actually sitting in the marsh, for obvious reason. Alas, eventually reality swung me around and screamed in my face, "Pam! You must take desperate measures to free yourself from the mouth of the hungry baby-monster!" So, I relented, sighed, and gently lowered my derriere onto the marsh - which, by the way, promptly became INTO the marsh.

Let's just say this - you know that feeling when you enter a pool or a lake and you finally get the courage to lower your crotch into the cold water, knowing that once you've done that, you may be able to withstand actually swimming in the water? Well, mighty cold, my friend, mighty cold. Suck in your breath and lose the ability to breathe for a moment cold. Mighty cold.

So. Now I at least have many more options open to me, along with many more people standing in a circle around me ready to rush gallantly to my aid. If only there were aid to be had, but I am alone in the midst of the tundra, sucked into the mouth of the hungry babe. Thank you, you kind people (I think to myself) for gathering around me for no other reason - at all, I am sure - than to pool your energies to perform a Spock-like mind meld with me to transfer that energy to me so that I might free my boot.

Now that my behind is resting, (and doesn't that beg for the phrase "resting comfortably?" However, I cannot use that hackneyed phrase...) I can roll. Well, that's the vision, anyway. This requires flexibility I thought I had lost somewhere in my 20's, but the mind meld must have been successful, and I am able to somehow maneuver my free leg around, under, and behind so that I've rolled into the following position: One leg in the muck to mid thigh, the other leg at the ready with bended knee, hands eagerly and firmly grasping the abundant plant life of the tundra - I am ready to lift myself up out of the mire! One! ~~ Two! ~~ Three! ~~ And...finally! ~~ I am ~~ counting again...

Now I reach out to one of my gallant rescuers, and he takes my hand, ready to lift me gracefully up and out. Okay. This is not going to happen, people. Were I much younger, much more flexible, much less stuck, much less generous (and I don't mean with my time...), perhaps. But, the reality is, there is nothing to be done to transform my emergence into freedom from the Keystone Cop-ish exercise it will inevitably be to a graceful lifting - No, this won't resemble a skating pair, in which the gallant man gently lifts the beautiful young woman easily into the air.

This is just me - just Pam - in a situation I never thought I would find myself in - ever - in a situation that I never thought I could endure - in a million years - negotiating ten things at once: being embarrassed, trying desperately to save face, trying to get this baby who, obviously, no one has fed in A WEEK, to release the nipple that is my boot, my foot, trying to find a way to assimilate the reality into my mind, my world of the 45 minute boat ride

awaiting me - oh, and that follows the "whee!" down the incline next to the shore - where the BOAT is that I both dread and wish for like the dickens - this is just Pam!

I'm praying that I still have two boots by the time I'm done with this debacle! And I finally, successfully manage to pull my leg out of the muck – still booted! - and hoist myself far up enough onto the dry edge to free myself completely from the marsh. Of course, my legs, my feet, and my lovely tushy, are anything but dry! Hey wait. Maybe I can market a new exercise program - Thirty Treks to a Tundra Tush! Guaranteed to get you enough berries for pies AND profit!

Just remember, because there is just a bit more to this adventure, that I still need to negotiate the incline by the shore - in reverse - and there is still a 45 minute scenic boat ride back to the village!

The End

Training in Mountain Village

Anyway, although now it seems like so long ago, on my birthday, all of the new teachers went to Harold’s house for dinner. Harold, as you may recall, is our new principal. Everyone brought something to contribute, and it was just a nice relaxing evening. Unfortunately, NOT a foreshadowing of the next week!

The next day, Monday, was the day we were all flyiing to Mountain Village to continue with new staff Inservice Training. Again, the flight was fine, and I’ve got to tell you, I am loving flying in those 12 seater planes! You feel like you could reach down and touch the landscape, which is really pretty from above. Robin pointed out to me that there are many pairs of swans that live on the land we were flying over, although they appear to be two white specks. Did I mention that Robin married a native she met in the village when she taught here years ago? Well, she and Jerry got married in Kotlik. Just as the ceremony was done, a flock of geese flew overhead which seemed prophetic because geese mate for life. I found out from Robin during that flight that swans mate for life, too.

The Inservice Training was fine, but they certainly crammed one heck of a lot of information into those days! We had a training session Monday afternoon after we arrived, two full days on Wednesday and Thursday from 7 til 5, and another half day on Thursday before flying back to our villages. And then Friday was the first day staff reported to school! Holy Buckets – talk about worn out!

Maybe we wouldn’t have been so tired had it not been for two key elements of those days in Mountain Village. First, we all slept on air mattresses in the school, and Bryn, her daughter Lorna, Maria and I all slept in the kindergarten room. What fun! An air mattress on the floor in the kindergarten for not one, not two, but (count ‘em) three nights! It was fine, though, of course. As long as you approach everything with the attitude that things will turn out unexpectedly, you are just fine working in Bush Alaska! Second, we had some really neat opportunities for things to do while in Mountain Village, and I found myself pushing forward regardless of my fatigue because I didn’t want to miss a thing!

Monday evening, a group of us went hiking along the Yukon River. It seems so surreal to say “hiking along the Yukon River.” I apologize at this point for the lack of pictures, although I will have some to share soon, I hope. The district provides digital cameras for staff, but they were short cameras, so a number of us are still waiting for our cameras. I brought my personal digital camera, but, alas, I neglected to bring the cords to charge it and to download pictures! (Gee, how could I have forgotten anything…) Anyway, it was really beautiful and quite the walk!

Scheduled for the next night was a barbeque and boating on the Yukon River. We didn't end up having a barbeque, but after dinner, Bryn, Lorna and I walked to the store and then down to the river where John Lamont, the superintendent of the district, was taking people out on the river in his fishing boat. And when I say fishing boat, I don't mean a bass boat with all the acoutrements, I mean an old fashioned flat bottomed fishing boat with no seats. He was taking a group over to where the bonfire was. When we got there, he was going to take another group out, and some of us were able to stay on the boat. Given a choice, there isn't much I'd rather do than be out on the water in a boat. So he took us out and drifted a net in two different spots. I helped him pull in the net, and Kara took pictures that she is going to send me that I'll send on to you. Then he went back to the bonfire and dropped off/picked up and took a couple of guys out who wanted to cast. Do you know what I really want to do with you next summer if the opportunity presents? I want to go fishing - not just the lazy throw a line in the water kind, the real kind - where you catch FISH. About 9:00, we came back in. So I was out on the water for about two hours! I had a lot of fun, and just being on water and in nature just made me reflect on things, which was good.

By Wednesday night, I had about had it! We were all dragging – every moment of every day was just packed! That night, there was to be Eskimo dancing and a fiddling at the Community Center. When Robin told me I would have plenty of chances to attend Eskimo dances and fiddlings in Kotlik, I decided not to go. A group of us walked down to the store (gotta have chocolate, you know!), and instead of going straight home, I decided to stop at the Community Center for a half hour. Oh, I know… Take one guess… I got there at 7 and got home at 10:30 – and had a blast! A group of women from the village performed the Eskimo dancing while the musicians played in the background. Then the band played music – guitar, bass, drums, and fiddle. Guess who played the guitar? The Assistant Superintendent of the District, Rich Patton. And let me tell you, they were pretty good! Finally, at about 8:30, I decided to head home. I had my purse on my shoulder and my jacket on when one of the new staffers who is now teaching in another village, Paul, asked me if I wanted to dance. Gee… let’s see… does Pam want to dance? You guessed it… I didn’t get home until 10:30, and I had a blast! We covered the floor doing the polka!

My First Entry from Kotlik

Good morning, everyone! Happy Birthday to Me! It’s about 9:30 Alaska time, and it’s my birthday today! It seems so long ago that I wrote in an email that I would be spending this birthday in the village where I would be living for the next nine months, knowing no one. What an inaccurate statement that is turning out to be!

I am still going to follow up with my web page to log my thoughts, but today I am simply going to write here in Word in the interest of time. I am learning quickly that I will want to write in a timely manner because so much is happening so quickly that if I don’t write often, I will lose some of the things I experience and feel, at least in terms of sharing them with you.

Getting ready to live somewhere for nine months is quite a challenging experience – especially with a move thrown in just for fun – but I’ve done it, such as it is!. Of course, I already have a list of things that I want to have sent to me from my belongings back home, and I expect that I will have a running list going at all times. But I can get many things I need right here in the village at an inflated cost. A trade off, I guess!

Flying into Anchorage went off just fine. When I got there, however, I was expecting a ride from the airport to the Sheraton in Anchorage, but I could find no one. So, I took a cab. But I got there! Tired as all get out, but where I needed to be. I tried to read each night while in Anchorage, but my eyes closed before I wanted to close my brain.

The next morning, Wednesday, was the first day of orientation. I have to give the district a lot of credit because our meals were all really good, so it was really nice that first morning to get a good breakfast and begin to meet people. And meet people I have, and really nice people to boot! My principal, Harold, is a really wonderful salt-of-the-earth kind of guy, and I fully anticipate my experience working with him to be fun and rewarding. We seem to have a shared vision in terms of the work I will be doing. I can’t articulate to you a whole lot about the work I will be doing because, frankly, I don’t know enough to do that yet! But I do know that one of my first responsibilities will be to see where the seniors are in terms of graduation requirements and then to work with them to ensure that they are on the right track. And right now, the most important thing for me to do is to learn about the culture of these friendly people so I can begin to understand how best to utilize my talents and skills. And that requires listening and genuine curiosity.

Anyway… After the morning session which covered a lot about technology in the district, we were taken shopping. I went with Alex, one of the Assistant Superintendents, and a really nice guy! I had four carts full at Wal Mart and spent $1250. And let me tell you – that kind of a shopping trip is exhausting! Truth to tell, I don’t know where my energy was coming from, but I continue to be amazed at my own stamina! There is no question in my mind that the choice to live a life without alcohol is proving to be an invaluable one – especially in the midst of all of this! That evening, the district had dinner for us at the museum in Anchorage, the name of which escapes me at this moment, but it was really lovely.

I walked to and from the museum with Robin and Sue, two of the women I’ve befriended, who will be living and teaching in Kotlik. Funny how things work out, because I feel a kindredness with both of them. And whatever thoughts I may have had about being isolated here are so far from reality that it amazes me!

I also got to be good friends with a young lady named Kara who will be teaching at Hooper Bay, my former duty station, and she would have been a fun one to get to know in Hooper. But that’s just not the way things worked out. Probably good though, because I’ll have enough on my plate as it is without mentoring a young ’un, which I would have naturally done (and if you know me at all, you know exactly what I mean!) One another woman I met, Bryn, will be at a different village, but we will stay connected to one another through email because we connected right away. She has her nine-year old daughter with her, Lorna, who is a doll! Bryn is one year older than I am, so there is that commonality. But that relationship will simply have to be what it will be under the circumstances, such as they are.

How can I explain how this all felt to me at that point? I had to leave some really special people behind along with a place I love, but this opportunity for growth and self-discovery will only serve to enrich those relationships and teach me to love a place that I wouldn’t ordinarily choose as a home. I know I’m getting ahead of myself here, but bear with me. I will take pictures and send them on, but be prepared, because some of you will find yourselves appalled and wondering how I could be happy here. Kotlik is not a pretty place in many ways by our standards, although it is on a river and you can see mountains and low trees in the distance. But already I am in love with the place, the experience, the people I have met thus far.

Back to it. Thursday was more orientation and more shopping. And more fun than a Barrel Of Monkeys! The only things I would have changed if it was possible was having time to connect via phone with people. The time difference was prohibitive because when I was ready to relax and make phone calls, you were all long asleep! I did get to connect with some people briefly, and that was very very good.

Friday! Holy buckets! A very long, very tiring day! Got to the airport in Anchorage okay, flew to Bethel, and made it there in one piece. I ended up sitting next to a woman named Edna, a principal in a different village. That part of this experience is so fun – not knowing who I’ll be talking to when, or why, or what more I will be able to learn. Like little gifts I’ve been opening for days!

The Alaska Airlines terminal in Bethel is quite possibly like nothing you’ve ever seen before. We all got our luggage and were transported to Grant Aviation, the carrier for my flight to Kotlik. Now, the fun begins…

I am missing a piece of luggage! Some of our luggage got erroneously mixed in with the luggage for a group who were going on a fishing trip, and I found one piece of my luggage in the belly of their plane! Still missing a piece, though… So I got driven back to the Alaska Airlines terminal. The only black suitcase left behind there had duct tape all over it – clearly not mine. So back to Grant Aviation we go. There is one lone black suitcase (or as Alaska Airlines call them, one 22), but it’s not mine because it doesn’t have the right kind of luggage tag, right? Guess what? The tag on that piece of luggage is different from the tags on all the rest of my luggage, but I looked at it anyway (FINALLY), and, you guessed it, it’s mine – sitting there all along. By the way, the Grant Aviation terminal looks a lot like the terminal in the show “Wings,” although if that terminal is a first class terminal, the terminal at Grant is absolutely no better than coach! No worries, though. Really nice people, and just a fun experience. Okay. By the time I found that piece of luggage, I had to be moved to the next flight out which meant a three hour layover in Bethel. That’s the only time I was almost reduced to tears because I was so TIRED, but then I shifted gears and sucked it up, an ability that I apparently have developed over these last few years that I think is so darned COOL! So I took a taxi into the town of Bethel to the AC store (Alaska Commercial Store) and shopped for some groceries, including some fresh produce and chicken kabobs. When I got back to the terminal, the very sweet girl at the counter informed me that they had found another piece of my luggage back at Alaska Air and that it was there for me to take with. Have you guessed yet? Yes, folks, the black 22 with the duct tape all over it! How fitting is THAT? I don’t know if that suitcase popped open (it was STUFFED) or if they inspected it and couldn’t get it closed, but had I gotten on the earlier flight, I don’t know when I would have gotten that suitcase – and that suitcase had my shower stuff in it!

Then, the flight. A ten seater plane – 12 including the pilot and co-pilot – and such a neat flight! So close to the ground in comparison to the flights we are used to, and just beautiful landscape! One stop in Emmonak, and then on to Kotlik. I left the hotel in the morning at about 10, and got into Kotlik at 8:30! Felix, of school maintenance, met me with a kind of golf-cartish vehicle with a little trailer attached and took me into the village and to the school where I met Harold. Harold then told me that my living quarters were not only not ready, but not really decided yet! Robin was hired only a couple of weeks ago, and hers is a family of 6, so housing had to all be rethought, and I guess they’re not done thinking! But I’m staying with Sue this weekend in a unit where neither of us will ultimately live, and we won’t know anything until we get back from training in Mountain Village. I should say – AT LEAST until we get back from Mountain Village! By the way, we leave here tomorrow morning and get back here on Thursday. Friday is the first day all staff reports, so hopefullly I will be setting up my new home over the following weekend.

Anyway. Sue and I talked Friday evening until we were both so tired that we couldn’t stay up anymore! We both slept in, but once we got going, we walked to both of the stores in the village as well as along the river. We ran into Harold who showed us his place and gave me coffee (!!!!! God BLESS that man!!!!!) I met many villagers yesterday, and there wasn’t a one who wasn’t wholeheartedly welcoming! I am going to have the time of my life, I believe!

Robin got in yesterday afternoon. She has family here because her husband is a native of this village. She came back from her in-laws’ last night to grab some things as she was going to sleep there, and she brought her mother-in-law, Winnie, and her sister-in-law, Goosey (a.k.a. Regina). Winnie is an amazing woman and shared a poignant and heart-wrenching story. I will share it with you here, but please treat this information with some reverence as this was a difficult story for her to share.

The schools up here used to under the auspices of the BIA, Bureau of Indian Affairs. Most kids didn’t really attend school because it wasn’t valued over having the family members working to support the family, and if there was a school, it wasn’t uncommon for it to be miles away making it really difficult for parents to get their kids to and from. In the mid 50’s an early 60’s, the BIA began to crack down and require that kids attend school. Eventually, people who lived spread out moved closer to one another and created villages, the ones that exist today, and built their own schools. Before that happened, though, the BIA would intervene and require children to attend boarding school. This is what happened to Winnie.

The problem was, however, that she didn’t understand what was going on or why. All she knew is that she was forced to leave her parents for an entire school year. When she returned in the summer, this didn’t resolve the issues for her or other kids because, in this culture (Yup'ik, I think it’s spelled, but I’ll confirm) children are raised to learn by watching, not asking questions. You can imagine how abandoned a six year child would have felt under those circumstances! When Winnie was 41 (she’s 61 now), her mother died. What followed for her was an extremely difficult time in her life. She suffered a breakdown and was hospitalized and received mental health treatment. When you think about it, how fortunate she was ultimately to have things unfold as they did so she had the opportunity to work through all of that!

Getting Down to the Wire...

This is the last email I sent before Tuesday, August 5th, the day I left for Alaska:

Hi, all!

Wow! Tuesday is the day! I can't believe it!

I have some new really good news. On Friday, I was offered a different position in Alaska - full time counselor in a village called Kotlik, instead of teaching and counseling in Hooper Bay. I'd much rather be doing the counseling, so I'm really excited! I'll know no one there when I first arrive - how fun is that? I don't know, though... my shyness might be a problem...

As far as contact goes: I will have email and internet access. I will be given a laptop, but I don't know when that will be, so I don't when I'll have internet access. Right now, I don't have internet at home and I can't check it at work, so reaching me via the internet right now is hit or miss.

Over this coming weekend, cell is 715/416-1063 and land line is 715/259-3235. When I leave for Anchorage on the 5th, I should be available by my cell phone - or at least that's what Alltel has said. If they are accurate, my cell will work in Anchorage until I leave there on the 8th. Once I leave Anchorage, you can't reach me by cell. However, I"m keeping the phone and number, so you can leave me a voice mail - I just don't know when I'll be able to retrieve it. I will be getting a land line at home, but, again, I don't know when that will be. I'll send a message just as soon as I can with updated information regarding how to contact me.

FYI: the weather in Anchorage has been in the mid 60's and in the mid 50's in Kotlik. While I will miss the hot, I think I can handle that! I know, I know... I'm gonna freeze my patootie off during the winter! But I'll be fine, and I will enjoy the summer back here all the more when I get back at the end of May. By the way, I am definitely coming to Wisconsin over Christmas break.

I'll be in touch!

Peace, Love, Joy,

Pam

How I Got Here

This is the first email I sent out when I decided to go to Alaska:

Hi!

Beginning in August until the middle of May 2009, I will be teaching and counseling in Hooper Bay, Alaska. Yes, you read right - Alaska! I leave to go to Hooper Bay in August and will return to Wisconsin next summer. Whether or not I return to Alaska in August of 2009 remains to be seen.

Let me explain...

You may or may not know that I no longer have the house here in Wisconsin - and that's okay, although it was a challenging situation. Anyway, recently I was talking to Debby and said to her, "You know, there are some good things that have come out of this whole situation. For one thing, here I am living in Wisconsin, and there hasn't been one part of me that has been unhappy with my decision to move here! The other thing that's really kind of cool is that I can go anywhere I want and do anything I want because I have nothing holding me anywhere!" And then I find out about the opportunity to go to Alaska.

I got an email from my friend, Chuck, who has taught on and off in Alaska for many years, and he was asking me if I knew of any teacher friends who might be looking for a teaching position as his district was hiring. My answer was - maybe I'd be interested! So he gave me the number to the district and I called. What I found out was that there was an opening for a teaching/counseling position in the middle school - could anything be better for me??? So I thought I'd just throw my hat in the ring and if I got the job, then I'd go to Alaska, and if I didn't get the job, then I wasn't meant to go. And after some phone interviews and phone calls for references, I got an offer. By the way, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the people who took the time to provide me with a written and/or phone reference.

I will be in Hooper Bay, Alaska, for the coming school year. I will include some links in future messages to give you more information about Hooper Bay and the school. But I will be on the Bering Sea much closer to Russia than Anchorage. There are no roads into Hooper Bay, so we are flown in! The usual amenities are pretty much non-existent, and most of this doesn't really alarm me too much, although I must say that when Barb said that there probably would be no place to get a haircut, that was one thing that did make me balk! She's right, by the way - there isn't anywhere to go for a haircut - so that will be interesting... I'll let you know how I end up resolving that one...

The job pays very well. The housing for the teachers is new, and they are nice townhouses provided at a lower cost for the staff. Because there aren't the usual amenities, there isn't much to do with money except to sock it away - and THAT is a good thing! I will be mailing many things to Hooper in the near future so they are waiting for me there, and I will shop for many things that will be shipped there from Anchorage. Some things I will have to buy there at a high cost - produce, for example - but the teachers I've met thus far have told me that it's worth the money. Feel free to mail me anything you like while I'm there, but keep in mind that it will take about five weeks for something to reach me. Laura, I don't know if QVC will mail to Hooper or not!

The school is quite new and beautiful. Over time, I'll include many pictures of everything including the staff as I make friends. My understanding is that the staff becomes a pretty cohesive group - for obvious reason!

I leave for Anchorage on August 5th. We have new staff orientation on August 6th and 7th in Ancorage. On the 8th, I'll fly into Hooper Bay and have the weekend to settle in. By the way, my birthday is Sunday the 10th, so THAT should be an interesting experience! On the 11th, new staff will be flown to Mountain Village - where the district office is - for curriculum orientation. We'll return to our respective villages on the 14th, and staff inservice begins on the 15th for all staff. Kids start on the 25th, and school ends on May 15th. So, by this time next year, I will be back for the entire summer! Sometime before I leave to come home to Wisconsin for the summer, I'll decide whether or not I'm going back to Alaska for the next year.

So, that's my story - so far, anyway!

I am going to be coming to Chicago - arriving on Friday, July 18 and leaving Monday, July 21, and I would love to see people before I leave for Alaska. I'm also thinking of dinner somewhere on Saturday evening as a way of seeing people who would also like to go out for dinner. Let me know if you'd like to get together.

Pam

Okay - all that said, let me just say that Chuck and I didn't turn out to be such very good friends, but that's okay. I also didn't end up in Hooper Bay, but that's another journal entry...! Oh, one other thing that's different - the teacher housing in the village where I live is NOT new and NOT beautiful! But, I manage...

Welcome!

Hi, all, and Welcome to my latest effort a posting a blog/journal...! I am hoping that I have finally found the forum I want to use to post my writing. Feel free to send me any helpful/suggestions you may have regarding this sort of thing, as I really don't completely understand what I'm doing...

The first thing I'm going to do is gather other things I have written and sent and re-post them here. Once I've done that, I plan to post other things I have written over the last months. And finally, I will make a point of posting periodically, in the interest of sharing my experiences with people who are interested.

Thank you for your patience as I bumble through this endeavor...!

Pam