The Real Deal

Some of you know that this has been a really difficult year. Some of you haven't really been aware of it, so allow me a few minutes to tell you about it.

If you ask me what it's been like to live and work in the Alaskan Bush, I can really only half answer that question. On the positive side, this challenge has been exhilarating. I enjoy the people in the village, and I love the kids. Parts of my job are drudgery, but the majority of it is wonderful! So many times, my phone will ring with a student saying, "Pam, are you busy?" My answer is always, "Never too busy for you..." even when I am truly busy with an administrative part of my job. And they come to hang out, to talk, to explore, to get support, to get acceptance. I am proud to say that I do my best to give the kids here what they need. And, I've had the opportunity to do some really meaningful clinical work with kids and families, too.

There is something really affirming about being able to do without so much and still be happy. Sometimes, people think I must be bored here without shopping, restaurants, movie theaters - all of the things that we become so used to. But the truth of the matter is that I have been far from bored. And, I love that...!

People say that people come to work in the bush because they are "mercenaries, missionaries or misfits." How accurate that is! Well, I think that all of the misfits came to Kotlik! This has been the most political place to work with the most dysfunctional cache of people I've ever encountered! Not all of the people, but enough to make it so that I have spent a good part of the school year on hyper-alert, in self defense mode, in survival mode. I've felt a bit cheated as a result, because it's taken my focus away from the very reason I came here - to experience the adventure!

Last week, Sunday evening, I decided that I needed to change all that. So, I applied for five open counselor positions in Alaska. And today, I landed one - and resigned from here! I will still be in the bush, but I will start fresh and new next year in a different school, in a different village, in a different district. I can't wait! Because, I can't believe that the powers that be would ask me to negotiate this minefield twice! And I want to have the opportunity to truly live in this culture and experience all of the things I missed as a result of being in a really dysfunctional environment.

So - that's my good news! I will finally (hopefully) get the real deal I hoped for when I came to the Alaskan Bush! The small minority who have made life miserable for the larger majority did not succeed in pushing me out - on the contrary, I decided to change my situation for the better - and I held the trump card!

One more week of school! I will be packing and shipping my things to my new village, and then I will be back home for the summer as planned. And I can't wait...!